Pond Hopper

My last post made me realize I need to clarify something just to make sure no-one reading it gets the wrong idea about Sal and the nature of our relationship when we first met... The story of Sal goes like this - It was the fall of 1992. My best friend just died. The rest of my friends were slowly dropping off (death has a way of making this happen), the first big love of my life married someone else and was having a baby with her and my new boyfriend just left for college. I felt truly alone and was miserable. In came Sal. I was working at the customer service desk at my local mall at the time. The desk was in the middle of the mall (not in a store front). One day a the most beautiful man I had ever seen up close walked by. As he did he made eye contact and kept his gaze as he walked. He was tall and muscular, he had chiseled features, full lips, long blond hair, and pale green eyes. Later that day, I was on my break when he approached me. He asked my name. He told me his name w...

This is always a tough day for me. Nearly 20 years ago, I lost one of my very best friends. His name was Jeff. At the time, we were best friends. We told each other all the time and every time we left each other or hung up the phone, we said I love you. It doesn't matter how many years pass - it never gets easier. Some years I dread this day the whole month of August. Some years years it takes a bit longer to get to me, but it always hits me hard. This year, it didn't get to me until yesterday. I was moody and down all day (probably dreading today). This morning while having my coffee, I cried. It came like a wave and I was surprised by my tears because it's been so long, but it all came back and I missed him with all my heart and mourned losing him as if he died yesterday. During my last trip home, I had the closest thing to a religious experience than I've had in a very long time. I was having an awful day. I had a huge argument with my mother, hadn't se...

Yesterday, I felt awful in the morning, but forced myself out anyway and I'm so glad I did. We started with a trip to a place called Paradise Park which is a play park for kids. It has a small science center that teaches kids about dinosaurs (as well as other things), a large botanical garden, miniature golf, playgrounds & a train ride. It has two displays of huge dinosaur models that roar as you walk by. There's one outside & one inside that's dark and the dinosaurs move as well as roar. Ethan is terrified of it and screams every time we go anywhere near it. The outdoor one is near the gardens. He's never gone anywhere near that one either (despite his love of dinosaurs). Yesterday, he was brave and went into the outside display. I was so proud of him and he ended up walking through it 3 times even touching them as he went through. In the gift shop we bought one of those airplanes that flies by winding the propeller that's attached to a rubber band...

I have an illness called Anklylosing Spondylitis. I've suffered with it for many years, but only got diagnosed about 3 years ago. It's managable with medication (thus far), but my husband and I have decided to try for another baby and my doctor took me off the medication (as you have to stop taking it at least a month before trying to conceive). Being off my meds is awful. I feel miserable. The pain is worse than I remember it being before the diagnosis and I feel like I'm falling apart. Every joint in my body hurts, my back is killing me and the fatigue is horrible. I hate complaining. I hate feeling useless and I HATE feeling sorry for myself. Right now I feel useless and very sorry for myself which just pisses me off to no end. Wayne told me to just relax while Ethan is at nursery school for the morning. I don't want to relax. I want to clean the house and get things done. I want to do the shopping that I need to do and be fine to push it home in the stroll...

I just realized since I moved my blog to this domain, I have been missing a large number of past entries. I've been able to recover a portion of them and re-publish them, but finding out just how many there are and re-publishing them will take a great deal of time that I just don't have. I'm really bothered by this. This blog has been a chronicle of my time here in the UK and also a place where I've stored memories from throughout my life. It's really upsetting. I just don't know where to start to fix it and don't know where I'd find the time. I've already spent way too much time doing it today. How aggravating!

My son is a huge Pixar Cars fan. We recently took him to his first movie in the cinema which had to be Cars 2. One of the songs on the Cars 2 soundtrack is a song called Collision of Worlds by Robbie Williams and Brad Paisley. My son asks to hear the song everyday. It's about the differences between being American and English. Anyone in an American/English relationship or an American living in the UK (& vise versa) will be sure to enjoy this song. I've added the lyrics below: At the first sign of the morning light, Old Glory's in the sky Across the pond, it's afternoon and the Union Jack flies high We're on our first cup of coffee We're on our third cup of tea And we can't pretend to live on different planets, you and me In this collision of worlds Watch the new day dawn on a distant shore In this collision of worlds Oh you can't sit this out no more Abbey Road, Route 66, CIA, to the MI6 Right lane, left lane, Metric, Imperial ...

I just read an article about some of the best feelings in the world or things that just make you happy. It inspired me to make a list of some of mine (in no particular order): * My son has a thing that he does when he's really tired - He climbs up on my lap, puts his face up against mine and lays on me. He makes this noise when he does it that lets you know he's completely content. It makes me feel like the most special person in the world! * Freshly washed sheets. It's lovely to climb into bed with sheets fresh out of the laundry. Combined with my down pillows and my husband to curl up with - it makes me never want to get out of bed! * When the cat chooses my lap to sleep on apposed to the couch or a bed. * Finding the perfect gift. * The sound of my son's laughter. * When my husband walks over and hugs me for no reason at all. * That just after sex, completely satisfied and falling asleep happy feeling. * Sunbathing on vacation - the feeling of my toes in...

I've been off my meds over a week now. It's a real shock to the system. I've been on this medication (an anti-inflammatory) for a couple of years now and although I knew it helped, I wasn't aware of just how much. For the most part, I do okay during the day, but mornings and evening are difficult. My husband keeps asking me why I'm so quiet. Last night, I had to ask him to stop asking. I think he was afraid I was upset with him for something. I get quiet when I'm in pain. I don't like to complain and I'm also quietly trying to figure out how long I'll be able to do this for. I'm hoping I'll get used to it and cope better after a little time. Today, I tripped over one of my son's toys and made things worse for myself. I jolt like that really makes inflammation worse and I'm really feeling it. When it first happened, it hurt so bad I thought I'd be sick. My three year old son kept saying to me: 'Breathe out' wh...

It's 5AM. I've been awake since 3:00. I'm still not feeling 100% and had a coughing fit that woke me up and haven't been able to get back to sleep since. There's nothing worse than trying to keep up with a 3 year old on so few hours sleep and I'm dreading the morning. My husband told me tonight he'll be able to have some time off next month and we'll be able to take a trip home. Maybe that's what's got me up. This trip will be shorter than most which will be hard. I miss it and every time we go back, I wish we didn't have to leave. During the last trip back, I got to see so many old friends. They arranged homecoming parties for me and we went out to a couple of bars to meet up with everyone. It was so nice to have so many people come out to see me. Some I hadn't seen in 20+ years. I missed my high school reunion which is how the gatherings ended up being planned. Facebook makes the world a lot smaller and the people that wanted ...

My son was sick last week and this week it's my turn. I'll be back soon. I'll be updating book talk as well with quite a few books as soon as I'm feeling better.