Pond Hopper

I just watched the movie, 'You've Got mail'.  It reminded me of a time when email was different - when people took the time to say something real.  I guess then it was still a novelty. It seems these days people use it as a quick and easy option. In a world of email, instant messages, cell phone texts and social networks it seems to me that people have forgotten how to really communicate and interact with each other on anything other than a superficial basis. Technology seems to be taking the place of human interaction. It seems these days, people use it as a cop-out way to communicate without having to actually commit to conversation or any real human interaction. We send quick emails and say things like - 'Hi, just a quick note to see how you are' which is fine, but if we really want to know, wouldn't we take the time to really find out?  Or worse - We forward something that someone else forwarded us! I absolutely hate forwarded mail - It's not even an ori...

In an attempt to feel like a part of the outside world, I went out today and ran some errands.  I did my hair and make-up and went to the shops.  I bought some flowers just because and walked around the cloths shops looking for something I could wear with my baby bump, but didn't find anything.  I swear this town doesn't have one maternity shop. On my way home I ran into my personal trainer and the only person I would consider a friend in this country.  He hasn't seen me in a while and couldn't stop looking at my belly.  I had to say 'You just can't take your eyes off of it can you?'  He said no, it's just too weird!  We stood in the parking lot and talked for a few minutes and promised we'd have lunch soon.  It almost felt normal - like I have a life outside this house and it made me feel better. When I got home, the police came to my door asking questions about my neighbor.  She apparently got out of her abusive marriage and is being harass...

It's 6am.  I don't sleep well these days.  I don't think I've slept a good night in months.  I know I don't write as often as I should, but I find it difficult lately to find the words for what I'm thinking and feeling.  It's odd really - I've always been the sort to keep a record of my life.  I've always kept journals or found some outlet to write down my thoughts - to get it out.  I have bought 3 pregnancy journals so far, but have yet to have a pen touch one.  I can't find the words. It's not just pregnancy though - it's the day to day life of living here and having no-one but my husband.  Since I got sick, Wayne has had to work a lot of extra hours to make up for all the time he missed when I needed him home and now he's getting ready to shut down his business for a month when we go back the states for Christmas.  I am alone more than 12 hours a day and it's wearing on me.  Some days I accept it as just the way it is, some day...

I just wrote an entire entry that I deleted because I haven't written in a while and I didn't think I should start by complaining.  We moved on Friday and long story short - my hideous neighbor that lived next door to me in the last house just happened to move in next door to our new house!  What are the chances right?  This time the walls are thin and I don't have to have the windows open to hear her, her terror of a toddler or the music.  This morning I was woken up by the child screaming and I have the flu so my mood is a bit... Anyway, it's been a busy time.  Leading up to the move, I did as much as I could, but Wayne had to take care of most of it.  The day we moved was a lot of the same and since then I've been trying to do as much as I can each day so that Wayne isn't bogged down this weekend.  I still can't do much lifting or bending so I feel pretty useless and if I do too much and end up in pain - Wayne ends up pretty angry with me.  I f...

Last night, I booked our trip home for Christmas!  I'm so excited because this year we'll be going for nearly a month (25 days to be exact)!  We'll be leaving on Dec 17th and coming back on Jan 10th.  It's a really long trip and I'm really happy we'll be doing it this year. I had my doubts we'd be making the trip.  We've had a lot of extra expenses lately and we've both missed a lot of work due to my surgery and recovery.  Wayne missed 2 weeks and I missed over 3.  We both have our own businesses and we don't get paid if we don't work.  Our house has just sold so we're moving on the 16th and the move is costing a couple thousand pounds.  I also had to apply for my last and final visa last month which cost a whopping

I had my 3 month ultrasound today and the first phase of the test I wrote about last week.  What an amazing experience it was!  I didn't expect the baby to look so much like a baby yet.  I just had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago after the surgery, but there wasn't much to see then.  Today, I saw a fully formed baby that appeared to be sucking it's thumb at one point!  I watched it move around and saw the little heart beat away!  I am overcome with emotion and such happiness. The test results were quite good.  Judging by the measurements they took, the odds of down syndrome went from (judging by age and family history) 1 in 200 to 1 in 1200!  The doctor said that couples with this result don't normally go through with the other test.  Wayne and I didn't expect the numbers to change so drastically.  We're leaning toward not going through with the other test.  It's invasive and there is a risk of miscarriage.  We called the midwife to ...

I'm really emotional today.  I have an ultrasound on Monday followed by a consultation for a test I have to have done which will take place within days of the ultrasound.  The test is called CVS testing.  It's a test that detects chromosomal abnormalities such as Down's syndrome.  Because of my age and the fact that I had an aunt with down's syndrome - the test is something that my midwife highly recommends I have.  It's a lot like amniocentesis only done much earlier and is supposed to be much safer.  They go in with a needle and take cells from the placenta.  It's safer, but there is still a 1 in 100 chance of miscarriage following the test. Wayne and I discussed this sort of thing before ever trying to get pregnant.  We always knew we'd have the test done and when it came up, we instatnly agreed to it.  That was before I had the surgery and came really close to losing the baby (they didn't give very good odds before operating).  Af...