Skip to main content

BORED!

I'm so f@cken bored.  What I wouldn't do for just one social contact in this country.  I spend 90% of my time by myself and to be quite honest - I'm sick of me.  I'm bored with me and I'm bored with trying desperately each day to find a way to just pass the time.  I hate to sound so 'woe is me' because I'm really not sitting around feeling sorry for myself, but I am sitting around feeling restless, alone and really stir crazy.
My business is small and these days it only takes me a couple of hours to do what needs to be done for the day.  I place my orders, touch base with customers who need me, send a few emails and in just a couple of hours - I'm done for the day and searching for things to do.  Wayne just let me know he won't be home until 8:00 tonight.  That's over 8 more hours I have to kill before then.
I think I say more to my cats each day than I do to actual humans - if they start talking back - I'll be really worried about my mental health!  I should go to the gym, but to be quite honest - since the miscarriage, I haven't been feeling much like going (I'm down to 3 days a week and some days feel like I can actually feel myself getting fatter).  Sometimes being out amongst people just makes me feel more alone.  It's not like anyone really talks to me and if they do, it's so superficial it feels not worth bothering.  I hate small talk.  I can have small talk with the cat at home and get just as much out of it as I can with some random gym employee who's job it is to act interested.  God, I'm cynical.
I was thinking of not publishing this post because who wants to read my complaints, but it's honest and I think a blog should be honest.  Plus, it might shed some light on why I don't blog more often - my life is so mundane that sometimes, there's just nothing to say.

Labels:

Comments

Sue said…
Is there anything you could volunteer for? Always a good way to meet people. Join a class or exercise club and start talking first. I'm a Brit and as friendly as they come, but don't always feel right about initiating conversation...inbred privacymeter I suppose! Good luck anyway!
10:59 PM
Chantal said…
Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all life really means. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
7:53 AM
Ashley Williams said…
I know how you feel. I moved here three years ago from Vermont with my then British boyfriend, now husband, and it has been really hard to make friends. The only friends I have made have been through work, so working at home must be really hard for you! There's only so many times you can answer the question of 'where are you from?' 'what differences are there?'!!! It gets better though, I promise!
11:09 PM
TwoCrabs said…
Come take a daytrip to London and my wife and I will take you out for a pint or two (or three)!
2:40 PM
Jacki said…
I know exactly how you feel. I'm also a Jersey girl (now living in the UK), but, previously, I lived in Bosnia with my husband, where I was home alone, unemployed, and no hope for employment. Volunteering and taking a pilates class really saved me from utter depression. Really. It got me out of the house and socializing with others. Also, you can work in the UK. Maybe a part-time job? Good luck.
11:38 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Top 20 Lists

Recently, a magazine here in the UK issued their list of their Top 100 women in show business. This sparked conversation between Wayne and I and one rainy weekend when we had nothing to do, we compiled our own Top 20 lists. The rules were we had to judge on looks alone (not their physique) and only one token model was allowed. For fun, I thought I'd add our lists here for you to view and enjoy. Maybe it will even spark conversation between you and a friend or loved one. Wayne and I actually had a really good time creating our lists together - judging each other's taste in the opposite sex and laughing over how long it took for us to prioritize our selections. We still change the order every time we look at it! (although our top five have remained the same) Enjoy and feel free to comment!
Post a Comment
Read more

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other childr...
5 comments
Read more

Attitude adjustment...

It's been a while since I blogged regularly. I guess I've been going by the rule - if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all. I hate 'woe is me' type entries and for the last month or so, I've been really down and haven't had anything good to say. I think it started with the news that Aniela (my fellow expat girlfriend) was moving back to the US and was exacerbated by the incident with Wayne's cousin and the flare up of my condition (along with a general feeling of homesickness & loneliness). I was really depressed for quite a few weeks there and haven't been doing much more than going to the gym and other random things to keep me busy during the day. I haven't even worked on my web classes (in any serious way) in weeks (probably because I can't concentrate when I'm in pain - never mind get very motivated). I'm not so down anymore. Maybe it's the sunshine. Maybe it's the fact that I'...
12 comments
Read more